Most of us want to share our life with a partner who is our best friend. But what if that best friend is not a romantic partner? Why should that get in the way of having what most people want? The truth is this: finding a lasting type of love is special and something worth investing in, even if it’s not romantic love. And for April Lexi Lee (aka @psychottie on Tikok), it’s the kind of love shared between her and her best friend of 11 years.
“This is for anyone who believes their soulmate is their best friend,” Lee said in her video urging viewers to “normalize platonic life partners.”
@psychottie On @cultclare & @jazmelodyy type bullshit. #platoniclifepartner ♬ original sound – April Lexi Lee
She continued, “My best friend is my soulmate. She’s the platonic love of my life. She’s the one I choose to live with. After 5 years of long distance, we finally manifested a way for her. to move to LA [from Singapore] to be with me.”
Lee posted another video of the two reunions, and it sounds like something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. The two run into each other’s arms for a long embrace, with the caption “what a long-term, stable and healthy partnership can look like in 2021”.
@psychottie Don’t mind romanticizing my #platoniclifepartnership 🥰 @hotmilkwong #platoniclifepartner #bostonmarriage #tiktoksg🇸🇬 #tiktoksg ♬ Home – Edith Whiskers
Lee noted that his friends and family called them both “crazy”, for taking such a big step, to which Lee replied, “we wouldn’t be questioned about it so much if we were lovers”.
It is a valid argument. We swoon over movies where the main man shows up at the airport just in time to profess his forever feelings to a woman he’s known for about three days, but somehow this relationship of 11 years does not justify such a gesture?
Lee argued that their decade-plus friendship lasted longer than most couples his age. And more importantly, they were committed to each other and shared a vision for the future. “We see a life together,” she explained. “We want to buy a house together, we want to create a retirement fund together, we might even adopt a child together and raise him as friends.”
Even if this dynamic is not seen as a tradition in our society, many have done it (and done well). People were even inspired to share their own “PLP” success stories in the comments:
“I was raised by my mom and her best friend (mom #2). They love each other in a platonic way and do everything together.”
“Me and my best friend are buying a house together this year. We’ve already lived together for 15 years.”
“My boss did this with her friend. They even bought a house together. They’re still fine after 35 years. It’s doable.”
Not only does Lee normalize this relationship, but she romances it. Just look at the beautiful love book she created when their relationship status was still long distance. It’s filled with cute cartoon images and funny, heartfelt messages like:
“I can’t wait for the day you finally come.
I will share my space with you, and your many alarms.
Learn to grow up and survive.
To go on a road trip with you.
I even can’t wait for you to push my limits, because we know that being fed up with each other is a privilege.”
Seriously, find yourself someone who looks at you like Lee does her best friend, platonic or otherwise.
@psychottie Reply to @psychottie we so cute and we out here 🤩 @hotmilkwong #platoniclifepartner #longdistancerelationship #ldr @LoveBook ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod
“My mind is blown right now. It just never occurred to me that that was an option, and I love it and want it!” wrote one person in the comments (um, yeah, same here!). This is why normalization all types of healthy relationships is vital. We are better able to see what is possible.
The bottom line is: romantic love is not king. As Lee said, “If marriage isn’t for you and you want to start a life with your best friend, then do it!” What really matters is finding someone who excites you and challenges you, who fosters a sense of health and safety, and who you are happy to “do life” with.
Excuse me while I go make a love book for my best friend.